Wednesday, August 31, 2005
In honour of the new blog look, and to all the incredible, amazing and wonderful women in my life. I am blessed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understandJ
ust why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Maya Angelou


Tart at 2:34 PM | 0 comments
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
So, I've changed the design of the blog. Wonder Woman kicks arse, baby! I'll be fiddling with the blog for the next few days, fine tuning it. So bear with me.

Tart at 11:19 PM | 0 comments
I like peanuts, but hate peanut butter

I hate bananas, but love banana smoothies

I love coffee, but detest iced coffees

I love strawberries, but hate strawberry ice cream

I love chocolate, but only milk

I only like green apples

I love hummus, but refuse to eat Chick peas (Garbanzo beans)

Coconut is EVIL

I really hate raisins, sultanas or currants

I can only eat eggs if they're scrambled or made into an omelette

I can only drink flavoured milk, plain makes me queasy

Mushrooms make me heave

I have eaten a sparrow

Tart at 3:13 PM | 0 comments
I'm too lazy to do something original today, so here's something I have seen while bloghopping.

Top 100 films according to the British Film Institute. Bold the ones I've seen.

British Top 100 List

1. The Third Man (1949)
2. Brief Encounter (1945)
3. Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
4. The 39 Steps (1935)
5. Great Expectations (1946)
6. Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)
7. Kes (1969)
8. Don't Look Now (1973)
9. The Red Shoes (1948)
10. Trainspotting (1996)
11. The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)

12. If... (1968)
13. The Ladykillers (1955)
14. Saturday Night and Sunday Morning (1960)
15. Brighton Rock (1947)
16. Get Carter (1971)
17. The Lavender Hill Mob (1951)
18. Henry V (1944)
19. Chariots of Fire (1981)
20. A Matter of Life and Death (1946)
21. The Long Good Friday (1980)
22. The Servant (1963)
23. Four Weddings And A Funeral (1994)
24. Whisky Galore! (1949)
25. The Full Monty (1997)
26. The Crying Game (1992)

27. Doctor Zhivago (1965)
28. Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979)

29. Withnail and I (1987)
30. Gregory's Girl (1980)

31. Zulu (1964)
32. Room at the Top (1958)
33. Alfie (1966)
34. Gandhi (1982)
35. The Lady Vanishes (1938)
36. The Italian Job (1969)
37. Local Hero (1983)
38. The Commitments (1991)
39. A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
40. Secrets & Lies (1995)
41. Dr. No (1962)
42. The Madness of King George (1994)
43. A Man For All Seasons (1966)
44. Black Narcissus (1947)
45. The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp (1943)
46. Oliver Twist (1948)
47. I'm All Right Jack (1959)
48. Performance (1970)
49. Shakespeare in Love (1998)
50. My Beautiful Laundrette (1985)
51. Tom Jones (1963)
52. This Sporting Life (1963)
53. My Left Foot 1989)
54. Brazil (1985)
55. The English Patient (1996)
56. A Taste of Honey (1961)
57. The Go-Between 1970)
58. The Man in the White Suit (1951)
59. The Ipcress File (1965)
60. Blow-Up (1966)
61. The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner (1962)
62. Sense and Sensibility (1995)
63. Passport to Pimlico (1949)

64. The Remains of the Day (1993)
65. Sunday, Bloody Sunday (1971)
66. The Railway Children (1970)
67. Mona Lisa (1986)
68. The Dam Busters (1955)
69. Hamlet (1948)
70. Goldfinger (1964)
71. Elizabeth (1998)
72. Goodbye, Mr. Chips (1939)
73. A Room with a View (1985)
74. The Day of the Jackal (1973)
75. The Cruel Sea (1952)
76. Billy Liar (1963)
77. Oliver! (1968)
78. Peeping Tom (1960)
79. Far From the Madding Crowd (1967)
80. The Draughtsman's Contract (1982)
81. A Clockwork Orange (1971)
82. Distant Voices Still Lives (1988)
83. Darling (1965)
84. Educating Rita (1983)
85. Brassed Off (1996)
86. Genevieve (1953)
87. Women In Love (1969)
88. A Hard Day's Night (1964)
89. Fires Were Started (1943)
90. Hope and Glory (1987)
91. My Name Is Joe (1998)

92. In Which We Serve (1942)
93. Caravaggio (1986)
94. The Belles of St. Trinian's (1954)
95. Life Is Sweet (1990)
96. The Wicker Man (1973)
97. Nil by Mouth (1997)
98. Small Faces (1995)

99. Carry On Up The Khyber (1968)
100. The Killing Fields (1984)


Tart at 2:27 PM | 0 comments
Monday, August 29, 2005
This is why I love this city of mine.

Check out the views I had while sitting down at the waterfront eating my lunch today. I took the office digital camera and snapped these in between bites of my sushi.


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Looking out towards Mt Victoria (and the BFs flat near the monastry)


Another view of the houses on Mt Victoria

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Oriental Bay

Lovely. Simply lovely.

Tart at 2:10 PM | 0 comments
I have to ask that question, after having this conversation over the phone with my sister a few minutes ago.

Mini-Tart: 'Can I borrow your white and black Dior shoes for ___'s party in October?"
Tart: "What? What party?"
Mini-Tart: "___'s big 40th. It's at the Hilton in Auckland. Big do"
Tart: "I haven't heard anything about it"
Mini-Tart: "Didn't you get an invite?"
Tart: "No!"
Mini-Tart: "You sure? Everyone here got one, even B___ "
Tart: "No way! This sucks! I can't believe I didn't get an invite. Are you sure it's all the family that's been invited?"
Mini-Tart: "Yep, everyone's going to Auckland for it, we've practically booked out the Hilton"
Tart: "Maybe my invite got lost in the mail..."
Mini-Tart: "Yeah, maybe...hahahahahahahahahaha"

It does indeed suck. This is a close relative, a cousin that I grew up with. I can't believe I'm not invited. My 11 month old nephew is invited and he's hardly party guest material, I mean, he can't do small talk. Though he does like the bottle *wink*.

Excuse me while I go pout in the corner of my office
.

Tart at 10:49 AM | 0 comments
Friday, August 26, 2005
It’s the smallest things that seem to irritate/annoy/bug the crap out of me.

People who confuse the words brought and bought. It is two different verbs people. Fucktards! (my new favourite word, thanks to
Tod Goldberg).

Will Ferrell (he is not funny. NOT. FUNNY).

Wet towels left on the bed.

Bus drivers that accelerate immediately after you’ve paid your fare, so you end up running down the aisle of the bus, grabbing a pole, swinging on it like a pole dancer and landing in the seat. Bastards.

Noisy eaters.

Being ignored when I’m at the bar ordering drinks. I think I have "Ignore Me" tattooed on my forehead in special ink that only bar staff can see.

People who start a conversation with "I'm not a racist/sexist but..." and then go on to spout some incredibly racist/sexist comments. Or, people who go "no offense, but..." and then say something extremely offensive, thinking that it's okay, because they prefaced their sentance with a warning. Fucktards.

Kate Hawkesby.

Capri pants.

When I can't sleep on my "side" of the bed at my boyfriends place.

Tart at 3:09 PM | 0 comments
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Stolen from a blog while blog-hopping.

Go to Music Outfitters and put your birth year in the search. Click on the top 100 songs of that year. Bold the songs that you like (that you wouldn't change the station for), and underline the one that's your favourite.

1. The Way We Were, Barbra Streisand
2. Seasons In The Sun, Terry Jacks
3. Love's Theme, Love Unlimited Orchestra
4. Come And Get Your Love, Redbone
5. Dancing Machine, Jackson 5
6. The Loco-Motion, Grand Funk Railroad
7. TSOP, MFSB
8. The Streak, Ray Stevens
9. Bennie And The Jets, Elton John
10. One Hell Of A Woman, Mac Davis
11. Until You Come Back To Me (That's What I'm Gonna Do), Aretha Franklin
12. Jungle Boogie, Kool and The Gang
13. Midnight At The Oasis, Maria Muldaur
14. You Make Me Feel Brand New, Stylistics
15. Show And Tell, Al Wilson
16. Spiders And Snakes, Jim Stafford
17. Rock On, David Essex
18. Sunshine On My Shoulder, John Denver
19. Sideshow, Blue Magic
20. Hooked On A Feeling, Blue Swede
21. Billy Don't Be A Hero, Bo Donaldson and The Heywoods
22. Band On The Run, Paul McCartney and Wings
23. The Most Beautiful Girl, Charlie Rich
24. Time In A Bottle, Jim Croce
25. Annie's Song, John Denver
26. Let Me Be There, Olivia Newton-John
27. Sundown, Gordon Lightfoot
28. (You're) Having My Baby, Paul Anka
29. Rock Me Gently, Andy Kim
30. Boogie Down, Eddie Kendricks
31. You're Sixteen, Ringo Starr
32. If You Love Me (Let Me Know), Olivia Newton-John
33. Dark Lady, Cher
34. Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me, Gladys Knight and The Pips
35. Feel Like Makin' Love, Roberta Flack
36. Just Dont Want To Be Lonely, Main Ingredient
37. Nothing From Nothing, Billy Preston
38. Rock Your Baby, George McCrae
39. Top Of The World, Carpenters
40. The Joker, Steve Miller Band
41. I've Got To Use My Imagination, Gladys Knight and The Pips
42. The Show Must Go On, Three Dog Night
43. Rock The Boat, Hues Corporation
44. Smokin' In The Boys Room, Brownsville Station
45. Living For The City, Stevie Wonder
46. The Night Chicago Died, Paper Lace
47. Then Came You, Dionne Warwick and The Spinners
48. The Entertainer, Marvin Hamlisch
49. Waterloo, Abba
50. The Air That I Breathe, Hollies
51. Rikki Don't Lose That Number, Steely Dan
52. Mockingbird, Carly Simon
53. Help Me, Joni Mitchell
54. You Won't See Me, Anne Murray
55. Never, Never Gonna Give You Up, Barry White
56. Tell Me Something Good, Rufus
57. You And Me Against The World, Helen Reddy
58. Rock And Roll Heaven, Righteous Brothers
59. Hollywood Swinging, Kool and The Gang
60. Be Thankful For What You Got, William Devaughn
61. Hang On In There Baby, Johnny Bristol
62. Eres Tu (Touch The Wind), Mocedades
63. Taking Care Of Business, Bachman-Turner Overdrive
64. Radar Love, Golden Earring
65. Please Come To Boston, Dave Loggins
66. Keep On Smilin', Wet Willie
67. Lookin' For Love, Bobby Womack
68. Put Your Hands Together, O'Jays
69. On And On, Gladys Knight and The Pips
70. Oh Very Young, Cat Stevens
71. Leave Me Alone (Ruby Red Dress), Helen Reddy
72. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Elton John
73. I've Been Searchin' So Long, Chicago
74. Oh My My, Ringo Starr
75. For The Love Of Money, O'Jays
76. I Shot The Sherrif, Eric Clapton
77. Jet, Paul McCartney and Wings
78. Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me, Elton John
79. Tubular Bells, Mike Oldfield
80. Love Song, Anne Murray
81. I'm Leaving It All Up To You, Donny and Marie Osmond
82. Hello, It's Me, Todd Rundgren
83. I Love, Tom T. Hall
84. Clap For The Wolfman, The Guess Who
85. I'll Have To Say I Love You In A Song, Jim Croce
85. The Lord's Prayer, Sister Janet Mead
87. Trying To Hold On To My Woman, Lamont Dozier
88. Don't You Worry 'Bout A Thing, Stevie Wonder
89. A Very Special Love Song, Charlie Rich
90. My Girl Bill, Jim Stafford
91. My Mistake Was To Love You, Diana Ross and Marvin Gaye
91. Helen Wheels, Paul McCartney and Wings
93. Wildwood Weed, Jim Stafford
94. Beach Baby, First Class
95. Me And Baby Brother, War
96. Rockin' Roll Baby, Stylistics
97. I Honestly Love You, Olivia Newton-John
98. Call On Me, Chicago
99. Wild Thing, Fancy
100. Mighty Love, Pt. 1, Spinners


I couldn't find a favourite, I didn't even know half those songs. Can't say that 1974 was a particularly good year.

Tart at 5:25 PM | 0 comments
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
I spent last week back in my hometown. This was the longest period of time I have spent in my hometown since I left in 1992.

While there, I learned these new things:

When wearing knickerbockers (well, really knee length shorts) and fishnet tights, people will stare at you and think you look like a hooker.

Wearing cowboy boots will get you funny looks. In fact, wearing shoes at all will get you funny looks.


People will mistake you for your sister, and ask you how your kids are. At first, you will think it's funny, but then later, you realise that people think you look like you have three kids! A diet and exercise regime is instigated immediately.

When you see an old high school friend in The Warehouse (equivalent of Walmart) and she asks “so, are you married, do you have kids?” and you answer “oh my god, no!” she will probably look at you funny, and walk away thinking you are a lesbian, just as she suspected at high school because you were on the hockey team.


When you are stopped in the street by a reporter from the local paper, asking if you'd like to answer a question (sort of vox pops) about what you think of political parties using celebrities in their election campaigning, your answer will impress the reporter so much that she will say to you "wow, that's the most intelligent answer I've heard in ages". If only she'd warn you that your ever so funny and snarky comment won't translate into print so well, and you will come across as a bitch.

When you bump into an old boyfriend at the pub, you will thank your lucky stars that you escaped after high school and didn't end up with a guy who wears Red Band gumboots



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to the pub.


You will have to drive more than 20kms to find a decent coffee.

Tart at 1:18 PM | 0 comments
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
It's still winter here, but that hasn't stopped me from looking ahead to the summer fashions. I've fallen in love with some gorgeous Trelise Cooper skirts.

Now normally, I'd avoid the nautical look like the plague. It's so twee and nana-ish. However, I am completely in love with this skirt from Trelise Cooper - it's called Captain Cordelli and I want it! (Though I'm not sure if I'd team it with red ankle socks LOL).

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Now this skirt, for some reason, reminds me of being in Italy. It's fun, flirty and cute. I can just see myself walking around a piazza eating gelato and wearing this.

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This dress is stunning. The picture doesn't do it justice, the bead work is lovely. I have the perfect pair of shoes for this dress...

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Speaking of shoes LOL, here are two pairs that I love.

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Of course, the monetary situation at present doesn't allow for designer skirts and shoes, so I'm just going to have to love these from afar *sob*.

Tart at 10:21 AM | 1 comments
Monday, August 22, 2005
So, it's election year. In less than a month we head to the polls and vote. This election campaign has been largely policy driven (very few personal attacks) and I know who I'll be voting for. Interesting fact, here in NZ, we get two votes. One party vote (e.g Labour, National, Green, NZ First) and one candidate vote. So, you could in theory, vote Labour for your party vote, but vote for the National Candidate in your electorate.

But voting for a new government is not the only kind of voting that is going on at the moment. It's the second series of New Zealand Idol! We're into the top 10 and last night was the first live show. Well, what can I say. Some were really good (Rosita, Keshia & Steven), some really average (Ashley and Rongo) and one just plain assaulted my ears. But, it's addictive viewing and I may have called the 0900 number and cast a vote. The shame...

Tart at 11:09 AM | 0 comments
Monday, August 15, 2005
Former New Zealand Prime Minister, David Lange*, died on Friday. He was 63. He changed the face of New Zealand politics in the late 80s, particularly economically (Rogernomics) and socially (our anti-nuclear stance, Tomorrow's Schools). He had an irreverent sense of humour and was a great wit. Below are a few of Mr Lange's quips that I liked.

On talk of an American dirty tricks campaign including efforts to ‘compromise’ MPs: "I have been waiting a month now to be compromised and all that happened was that Naomi [his first wife] turned up".

Asked if deputy prime minister Geoffrey Palmer would be seeing American president Ronald Reagan on a 1985 visit to the United States: "The answer to that is, probably not unless he is taken hostage".

On Jim Bolger: "When he went to the doctor, they sought a second opinion from a vet".

On National Leader Jim McLay: "One swallow does not make a summer and one turkey does not make a leader of the Opposition".

On laundry lost while travelling abroad: "I’ve got two shirts still missing from the Bahamas. I’m sure they are part of a youth camping programme somewhere in Tanzania by now".

On Winston Peters, and his absence during Mr Lange’s valedictory speech to Parliament: "Who would have been with us today if he hadn’t been detained by a full-length mirror".

To retiring US ambassador H Monroe Browne, who owned a racehouse called Lacka Reason he said: "You are the only ambassador in the world to race a horse named after your country’s foreign policy".

Asked about the Security Intelligence Servce by former National MP Paul East, he responded: "I can understand the member’s desire to have a passing connection with intelligence which seems to have by-passed him all his life. He has kept his secret for years".

Spotting a machine labelled ‘media steriliser’ Mr Lange quipped: "Have that sent to my office immediately".

On his colleagues: "I mean, if you took the glasses off some of them, they’d be rendered dumb".

"Hold your breath for a moment. I can smell the uranium on it." To an interjector while debating nuclear weapons with American evangelist Jerry Falwell at Britain's Oxford Union.


*Side note. Lange in this instance, is pronounced long-ee, unlike actress Jessica Lange, who's surname is pronounced lang. Useless tidbit of info for you.

Tart at 3:11 PM | 0 comments
I'm feeling really pissy today, annoyed at and by everything.

Must be hormonal.

Or old age.

Tart at 10:40 AM | 1 comments
Monday, August 08, 2005
Hurrah indeed. Bridget Jones is back! Yay. Can't wait to read more from my favourite girl about emotional fuckwits and smug marrieds.

Bridget has a new column in the UK Independent. Only trouble is I have to subscribe (i.e. pay!) to read the whole diary entry. Bugger.

Might just have to ask the parents (who ever so conveniently live in London) to buy the Independent and cut out the diary entries for me.


Tart at 1:19 PM | 0 comments
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Finally, I have a diagnosis. After years of what has probably been ridicule from friends and family, I can now say that I have S.O.D. Shoe Obsession Disorder. That’s right, it’s a DISORDER!

“According to a new British survey, S.O.D is more widespread than you might think. One third of the 2000 women interviewed admitted owning more than 25 pairs of shoes, while an astonishing 86% confessed to buying at least one new pair of shoes every month” … “This means that by the time the typical Englishwoman reaches the age of 80 she will have splashed out, on average, £31,680 (NZ$82,000) on footwear and spent three years of her life shoe shopping”. [The Dominion Post, 4 August 05]

Wow. NZ$82,000 on shoes. And that’s just the average women. I have a feeling I’m more above average.

So, I’m going to work how much I will have spent on shoes from the age of about 14 (that’s when S.O.D started) to lets say 80, and lets say the average shoe cost is NZ$200.

66 (years) x 12 (number of shoes bought per year) = 792

792 (pairs of shoes) x NZ$200 (average shoe price) = NZ$158,400

NZ$158,400

Oh.

My.

God.

I’m not sure if I should feel really chuffed, or a bit embarrassed. Seeing as the average NZ home is about $300,000, that means I would have spent, in my life time, the equivalent of half a house on shoes. Eep.

Now, it’d be interesting to see how much I’d’ve spent on books in a lifetime. I imagine that would be a high amount too.


Okay, so lets say I started buying books at age 14 to 80, and that I buy an average of 7 books per month, and the average book costs NZ$25.

66 (years) x 84 (number of books bought per year) = 5544

5544 (books) x NZ$25 (average book price) = NZ$138,600


NZ$138,600

Oh.

My.

God.

I'm going to die a poor woman! But at least I'd've died wearing some kick ass shoes and having read some very good books.

I'll make no mention of how much I'd've spent in a lifetime on booze, that number would be too scary to contemplate.

Tart at 5:15 PM | 0 comments
Especially for you, Val & Harlot...

More reasons why I will be watching the All Blacks this season.

Reason #4

Dan Carter

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Reason #5

Dan Carter

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Reason #6

Doug Howlett & Carlos Spencer

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And of course, Reason #7 is that the All Blacks are actually a good rugby team.

Tart at 11:31 AM | 1 comments
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Why I will be watching the All Blacks during this year's Tri Nations series.

Reason #1

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Reason #2

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Reason #3

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Tart at 12:17 PM | 1 comments
Someone, I can't remember who, gave me this book awhile back now. Interesting reading.

I always thought I was well travelled and had, over the years, managed to visit places, both on and off the beaten tourist track. But, there are still places, even continents that I have yet to step foot in (South America! Come on down).

So, here is my list of places to see before I die. Not 1000 of them mind you, just the few off the top of my head.


  • Machu Piccu, Peru
  • Great Wall of China
  • Terracota Warriors, Xian, China
  • Zanzibar
  • Maldives
  • The Seychelles
  • St Petersberg, Russia
  • Uluru, Australia
  • Marrakesh, Morroco
  • Pacific Coast Highway (California to Washington), USA
  • Borneo, Malaysia (to see the Orangutans)
  • Kathmandu, Nepal
  • Geirangerfjord and Nærøyfjord, Norway
  • Sardinia
  • Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
  • Boston, USA
  • Bora Bora, South Pacific
  • Quebec, Canada

Cool. Time to start saving.


Tart at 11:37 AM | 0 comments
Monday, August 01, 2005
It is a truth universally known that I, Tart, find skinny or weird looking or drugged out or tattooed and pierced or make up wearing male musicians quite sexy. The names below will testify to this fact.

Scott Weiland - Velvet Revolver
Jack White - The White Stripes
Dave Grohl - Foo Fighters
Nick Rhodes - Duran Duran
Billy Corgan
Robert Smith - The Cure
Morrissey
Travis Barker - Blink 182
Chris Cornell - Audioslave
Beck
Thom Yorke - Radiohead
Moby

Also, add to that the lead singers for:

Green Day
My Chemical Romance
Interpol
Blindspott
The Bleeders
Pluto
Shihad
Good Charlotte
Simple Plan
Queen's of a Stone Age
Linkin Park

And, lets not forget those bling'd out, hoochie mama video freaks:

Nelly
Ja Rule
The Game
Usher
50 Cent
Mario
Sean (P. Diddy) Combs

Tart at 10:26 AM | 0 comments
The Island
Over-directed, over-edited, over-scored and over-the-top. Ewan McGregor looked like he was having fun with this role (and he was quite the hottie too). Scarlet Johanssen however, was under-utilised and was another plastic portrayal of women common in director Michael Bay's films. There was also strong whiffs of homophobia and some rather rampant sexism. But! It was quite entertaining. 2/5.

The Machinist
Taut, atmospheric and a well shot film. Christian Bale delivers a very well rounded character with this performance. However, his extremely gaunt appearance (he lost over 28kgs for this role) does often distract from the film. 3/5.

Tart at 9:46 AM | 0 comments