The wit of LangeFormer New Zealand Prime Minister, David Lange*, died on Friday. He was 63. He changed the face of New Zealand politics in the late 80s, particularly economically (Rogernomics) and socially (our anti-nuclear stance, Tomorrow's Schools). He had an irreverent sense of humour and was a great wit. Below are a few of Mr Lange's quips that I liked.
On talk of an American dirty tricks campaign including efforts to ‘compromise’ MPs: "I have been waiting a month now to be compromised and all that happened was that Naomi [his first wife] turned up".
Asked if deputy prime minister Geoffrey Palmer would be seeing American president Ronald Reagan on a 1985 visit to the United States: "The answer to that is, probably not unless he is taken hostage".
On Jim Bolger: "When he went to the doctor, they sought a second opinion from a vet".
On National Leader Jim McLay: "One swallow does not make a summer and one turkey does not make a leader of the Opposition".
On laundry lost while travelling abroad: "I’ve got two shirts still missing from the Bahamas. I’m sure they are part of a youth camping programme somewhere in Tanzania by now".
On Winston Peters, and his absence during Mr Lange’s valedictory speech to Parliament: "Who would have been with us today if he hadn’t been detained by a full-length mirror".
To retiring US ambassador H Monroe Browne, who owned a racehouse called Lacka Reason he said: "You are the only ambassador in the world to race a horse named after your country’s foreign policy".
Asked about the Security Intelligence Servce by former National MP Paul East, he responded: "I can understand the member’s desire to have a passing connection with intelligence which seems to have by-passed him all his life. He has kept his secret for years".
Spotting a machine labelled ‘media steriliser’ Mr Lange quipped: "Have that sent to my office immediately".
On his colleagues: "I mean, if you took the glasses off some of them, they’d be rendered dumb".
"Hold your breath for a moment. I can smell the uranium on it." To an interjector while debating nuclear weapons with American evangelist Jerry Falwell at Britain's Oxford Union.
*Side note. Lange in this instance, is pronounced long-ee, unlike actress Jessica Lange, who's surname is pronounced lang. Useless tidbit of info for you.
Tart at 3:11 PM |