Wednesday, June 29, 2005
I have been thinking recently, about the number of romance books on my keeper shelf. For some reason, I thought that I had to have at least 50 books that are so great, so wonderful, that moved me in some way that I kept them on the 'I want to be buried with these books' shelf.

Imagine my surprise, when I did a quick count and found only 15. Yep. 15. How pathetic! I've been reading romance for about 20 years and only 15 books made it to the keeper shelf?

So, without further ado, here are the aforementioned books (in no particular order).

Lord of Scoundrels - Loretta Chase

Flowers from the Storm - Laura Kinsale

For My Lady's Heart - Laura Kinsale

Getting Rid of Bradley - Jenny Crusie

Something Wonderful - Judith McNaught

Heaven, Texas - Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Then Came You - Lisa Kleypas

After The Night - Linda Howard

Her Secret Thrill - Donna Kauffman

Knock Me Off My Feet - Susan Donovan

Wicked - Jill Barnett

All Through The Night - Connie Brockway

Saving Grace - Julie Garwood

Indiscreet - Alison Kent

By Design - Madeline Hunter

Interesting to note that out of the 15 mentioned, only 6 are contemporary romances. I am not a big historical romance reader (would read 4 or 5 contemps to 1 historical romance), yet 9 historical romances made my keeper list.

Tart at 10:32 PM | 0 comments
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
During my lunch hour today, I wandered around the World Press Photo 05 exhibition currently on at a local gallery here in Wellington.

“Every year World Press Photo invites press photographers and photojournalists throughout the world to participate in the World Press Photo contest. The 200-prize winning photographs are assembled in a traveling exhibition, which visits 40 countries annually. World Press Photo is the largest international competition in the field of photojournalism, which was held for the 48th time in 2005. World Press Photo is regarded as the most prestigious international contest in professional press photography with its awards and achievements recognized in many countries around the world.”

This year, many of the images came from the Tsunami devastated regions of India, Indonesia, and Sri Lanka. The shattered classroom of School Number One in Beslan, Chechnya. Images of war in Iraq, the Israel/Palestine problems, and the war ravaged and often forgotten country of Sudan. Many of the photos are very sobering. They made me feel angry and upset, hurt and uncomfortable. Not all of the photos are sad, some of the lighter arts or sports photos help lighten the mood, but overall this is an exhibition that really makes you think. About yourself, your place in the world, actions and consequences.

This image, is the winner of the World Press Photo, Photo of the Year 2004. It is heartbreaking in its simplicity.




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[Image: Arko Datta, India, Reuters – Woman Mourns Relative killed in Tsunami, Cuddalore, Tamil Nadu, India, 28 December 2004].

The World Press Photo has all the winning images on its website http://www.worldpressphoto.nl

Tart at 5:17 PM | 0 comments
These made me laff... especially Leo (that's me).


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Tart at 12:45 PM | 0 comments
I am so over Tom & Katie [TomKat] Oprah & Hermes [OpHerm?]

Tom is a class A twat, and if Oprah thinks being snubbed by Hermes is the most humilating thing that's happened in her life, then she obviously never had her best friends brother walk into the bathroom while she was changing her tampon...

So, can Paris Hilton please release another sex tape so this Tom/Katie/Oprah/Hermes thing can die?


Tart at 12:25 PM | 0 comments
Sunday, June 26, 2005
I've been thinking lately, about what I want. In particular, what I want in a romance novel.

I read a lot of romance novels and some of them can be rather repetitive. Regurgitating the same old plot, the same type of characters. Nothing new, nothing surprising and a book that I can predict how it's going to end.

So, here's my list of things I want in a romance novel.


  • A strong and intelligent heroine. I want a smart woman who makes smart decisions and does things for smart reasons. I don't want a doormat, I want her to have a backbone. I hate simpering needy heroines.
  • An intellgent hero. He can even be a geek. Sam Stark from JAK's Trust Me is one example of a geeky, yet very sexy hero.
  • I want really good chemistry between the hero and heroine. Palpable sexual tension that eventually leads to some steamy and hot love scenes.
  • I want funny and light. I want delightful. I want great dialogue, smart and snappy lines, but not teenagers who sound like some Dawson's Creek character.
  • Conversely I want conflict and darkness. I want dark and tortured, troubled and serious. I like broody heros and heroines.
  • I quite like older experienced heroines with younger men. I also like the Ugly Duckling type of story, where the plain Jane gets the handsome hero. I'm also a sucker for first love stories, or love reunited types of stories.
  • I want interesting secondary characters. But I don't want them to overshadow the hero/heroine - the Jules/Robin/Adam storyline in SB's Hot Target is a great example of this. As secondary characters, their storyline was far more interesting than the main characters, Cosmo & Jane.
  • If it is a historical novel, I want depth and historically accurate settings. I don't want the historical setting to be mere wallpaper.

And now for a few things I don't want in a romance novel.


  • Babies/Children. I don't like cutesy kids. They tend to come of more annoying than cute. I don't find babies or children remotely romantic, so will avoid any books that mention them.
  • Pregnant heroines. Especially heroines that are pregnant to another man, who is not the hero.
  • Books that end with a wedding and children. Please. Let me decide when that happens. I don't need to be spoonfed everything.
  • Virgin widows. There better be a damn good reason for this! A major pet peeve of mine. I'd much rather read about a widow who had a loving relationship with her first husband.


Tart at 11:00 AM | 0 comments
I'm not, as some might think, referring to myself here (hey, I'm not that easy!). I am of course, talking about how long it took the British & Irish Lions rugby team to score their first points against the NZ All Blacks. The 56th minute in an 80 minute game. Quite crap really. They never really threatened the All Black territory, they never had any possession. Their lineouts were very poor. Their scrum was screwed and they never really challenged. They were never really in it. The All Blacks really applied themselves, good defense, great attack and a WIN!

21-3. Stick that Sir Clive.


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[Photo: Fairfax]

Tart at 10:34 AM | 0 comments
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Kim: "I'll have a cardonnay, thanks"
Woman: "Do you mean Chardonnay?"
Kim: "No, cardonnary, it's French, the H is silent"
Brett "It's not cardonnay, Kim, it's chardonnay. Chardonnay"
Kim: "Oh alright, chardonnay! CHARDONNAY!! You pack of chunts!"

[Paraphrasing from Kath & Kim, Season 3].

I went to a wine tasting at the wine & spirit store across the street from my office tonight. I dragged along two girls from work, so I wouldn't look like a sad, lonely lush, swigging from my glass.

I like wine, I'm not terribly knowledgable about it, but I know what I like and, I can talk shit with the best of the wine wankers.

Tonight, whilst tasting Pinot Noir, Syrah, Pinot Gris, Sauvignon Blanc, Riesling and Cabernet Merlot from some of the best up and coming vineyards, I used the following words, with a straight and earnest face.


  • Structure
  • Cloying
  • Full bodied
  • Floral
  • Herbacious
  • Depth
  • Flinty
  • Robust

I was tempted to ask for a taste of 'cardonnay'. I had no clue if the Peregrine Pinot Noir was flinty or not, but the wanker banker next to me seemed to agree. Ah wine wankiness at its best.


Tart at 9:56 PM | 0 comments
Nothing says prom more than Dior-camo!

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Nothing says prom more than pasties!

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After watching The Sound of Music, Tina was inspired to make her girls prom outfits from the curtains too!

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I think all they are missing are ice skates!

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And these gems are from UglyDress.com

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Tart at 10:24 AM | 0 comments
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
A friend put me onto Susan Miller and I find her astrological readings quite accurate for me, however, this paragraph for my June horoscope, certainly made me sit up and take notice (and to double, triple check my pill LOL).

It's also possible that the topic of a pregnancy or baby may come up with the person you are dating, living with, or married to, but you may feel pushed to accept a point of view you don't feel comfortable taking. Of course, you'll resist, but how things play out depends on so many factors that you will have to wait and see. If you are a parent of a teenage child, the problem may occur instead with your present child who won't likely agree with something you say or decide. In any of these cases, try not to lock horns, because that would be unproductive - find a different way, through a side door, to untangle the problem.


Tart at 10:41 PM | 0 comments
Four great characters in one of my favourite shows. I miss the clothes, the shoes, the bitchy lines. Especially now as there is so much crap on TV at the moment, I really need a Sex & The City fix.

So, to cheer myself up, I thought I'd post a bunch of my fave quotes from this great show.

Miranda: I know you're probably busy, having mind-blowing sex right now, but I feel that you need to know your good friend - Miranda Hobbes - has just taken a piece of cake out of the garbage and eaten it. You'll probably need this information when you check me into the Betty Crocker Clinic.

Adam: Come on, give me a little BJ, up and down a couple times, you're done, it's easy!
Samantha: Easy? You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothin'!

Carrie: I will not be the first one to speak. And if he never calls me again, I'll always think of him fondly. As an asshole.

Charlotte: I mean, don't you ever really wanna be pounded hard, you know, like when the bed is moving all around and it's all sweaty and your head is knocking up against the headboard and you feel like it might just blow off. Dammit' I just really wanna be fucked, you know just really fucked!

Carrie: No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you'll never get through it without your friends.

Samantha: Ladies! Seamen, twelve o'clock!
Miranda: I pray when I turn around there are sailors, because with her, you never know.

Carrie: A fuck buddy is a guy you probably dated once or twice and it didn't really go anywhere, but the sex is so great you sort of... keep him on call.
Samantha: Ooo, he's like dial-a-dick!

Charlotte: Imagine, being blind and not being able to see a beautiful day like today. Can you think of anything worse?
Anthony: Stonewashed jeans and a matching jacket.

Carrie: I had often fantasized about running into my ex and his wife. But in those fantasies, I was running over them with a truck.

Carrie: I like my money right where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Big: So I guess this is what we'd be like in our 70's. No sex and board games.
Carrie: Aww, you're already thinking about your next birthday?

Samantha: You dated Mr. Big. I'm dating Mr. Too-Big!
Carrie: You broke up with your last boyfriend because he was too small, now this one's too big. Who are you, Goldie-Cocks?

Samantha: Women are for friendship, men are for fucking.

Charlotte: We're having Trey's sperm tested.
Miranda: Is it not doing well in school?

Stanford: Before I tell you, you have to promise not to judge.
Carrie: Do I judge?
Stanford: We all judge. That's our hobby. Some people do arts and crafts; we judge.

Carrie: Honey, if it hurts so much, why are we going shopping?
Samantha: I have a broken toe, not a broken spirit.

Samantha: Frankly, I think it's sad, the way she's using a child to validate her existence.
Carrie: Exactly. Why can't she just use sex and a nice cocktail like the rest of us?

Miranda: Last night Steve and I held hands for an hour and a half watching ... the fire. He was looking into my eyes; I was looking for the remote.

Carrie: I like him.
Samantha: Well, that's real swell, but it still doesn't get the cream in the cupcake.
Carrie: But the thing I like best about him is his family.
Samantha: Mmm! Anyone there you can fuck?

Charlotte (to Wesley): You don't know Samantha. I do. She has so many notches on her bedpost it's practically whittled down to a toothpick.

Carrie: How did this happen? How did they get the message that the ass is now on the menu
Miranda: I bet there's one loud-mouthed guy who found some woman who loved it and told everyone 'women LOVE this!'
Carrie: Who is this guy?
Miranda: Who's the woman who loved it?
Samantha: Don't knock it till you've tried it!
Carrie: Bingo!

Miranda: I once was broken up with by a guy's doorman. "I'm sorry Ms. Hobbes, Jonathan won't be coming down. Ever."

Charlotte: I just don't understand. How could you forget someone you slept with?
Carrie: Toto, I don't think we're in single digits anymore.

Samantha: From my experience, honey, if he seems too good to be true - he probably is.

Charlotte: Did I ever tell you I was a cheerleader?
Miranda: No, because you knew I would mock you endlessly.

Carrie: It's over for me. Here lies Carrie. She had two loves and lots 'o' shoes.

Samantha: I'm starving! Where's the food?
Miranda: They're WASPs. There's never food, only booze.
Samantha: Fine. One martini, six olives.

Carrie: When you're a teenager, all you want to do is buy beer. But once you hit 30 all you want to do is to get carded.

Carrie: Are we simply romantically challenged, or are we sluts?

Carrie: Miranda was a huge fan of the Yankees. I was a huge fan of being anywhere you could smoke and drink at two in the afternoon without judgement.

Charlotte: I can't believe you would actually consider having a boob job.
Miranda: I can't believe you went to Planet Hollywood.

Samantha (On Charlotte): That girl needs the stick out of her ass and a dick in her coochie, pronto!

And I'll leave it on that note...

Tart at 4:27 PM | 0 comments
My sister and I usually agree on most things.

Johnny Depp = hot

Vege Curry Laksa = yummo

Capri pants = major fashion hate

But, we have one topic where, no matter how hard I try (and I have tried), she won't agree with me.

Male circumcision. Normally, it wouldn't come up in any of our normal conversations, but she recently had a baby boy and mentioned that he was going to be circumcised very soon.

I was shocked actually. I find it barbaric and unncessary. Sorry but that is totally fucking wrong. You are cutting off a part of his penis. To me, male circumcision is just as cruel as female circumcision. I said to her, would you let the doctor cut your clitoris off? When I asked her why she and her partner decided to get him butchered...sorry, circumcised, she said it was because she wanted *** to look like his Dad. WTF? You are doing this for aesthetics? Then came another reason "it's easier for him to clean". You can't teach your kid how to clean his uncircumcised penis? Really?

My pleading, begging and constant article linking and research information emails were to no avail. My nephew was circumcised. Poor wee bugger.

Tart at 3:28 PM | 0 comments
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Instead of doing some really important web maintenance stuff at work, I've spent a good half and hour doing these rather inane, but entertaining quizzes here.

I also stumbled across this website and have now laughed myself stupid, I think my favourite name is Jazzmynn Aaliyaah Nevaeh *gag*.




Tart at 2:52 PM |
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Movies (or fil-ums, as my Irish friend S would say).

Quite a few good movies coming out soon. A few I'm keen on seeing are:

Batman Begins (looks very urban gothic, dark, Bladerunner-esque. Oh, and Christian Bale...mmmmm.)

Madagascar (like the look of the animation, plus I like Ben Stiller)

Heights (I like films set in New York, plus this is about the theatre. The Theatre, darling!)

Fantastic Four (this is going to be a good film or a very sucky one)

The Machinist (looks creepy and disturbing)

The Island (Sean Bean AND Ewan McGregor...'nuff said)

The New Zealand International Film Festival starts here shortly and so many good films on offer, probably near the top of my list is 'Me and You and Everyone We Know'. Most of the films are good, but some are wanky shite posing as good.

There's always one film that causes a bit of controversy. This year it's Michael Winterbottom's '9 Songs'. Already there has been a massive push to see this movie removed from the programme due to its explicit sexual content (the actors are filmed having sex). You can guarantee that if this film does screen, it will be a sell out.

Tart at 2:15 PM | 0 comments
Monday, June 13, 2005
Now this story made me laugh.

But also just proves that some toys should be left at home.


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"A kinky housewife was knocked out cold in Asda – after her vibrating knickers left her overcome with excitement.

The thrill-seeking shopper was wearing a pair of Ann Summers battery-operated Passion Pants to spice up her sex life. But as she pushed her trolley she got so aroused by the 2 ½ inch vibrating bullet inside that she fainted.

The 33-year old fell against shelves and banged her head in the crowded store at Swansea, South Wales.

Paramedics rushed to help – and found the black leatherette panties still buzzing. They switched them off and removed them before taking her to hospital.

The woman – who has not been named to spare her blushes – made a full recovery but her bride took a knock.

As she left hospital a paramedic handed her back the naughty knickers in a plastic bag.

An Asda spokesman said 'we like to think shopping with us is exciting enough already'."







Tart at 4:42 PM | 0 comments
I can now sleep easy, knowing that Tim has been voted off Dancing with the Stars. Yay!

Now if Shane can win this thing, then I'll be very pleased. Very pleased indeed.

Tart at 10:52 AM | 0 comments
Sunday, June 12, 2005
I've been watching the popular TV programme Dancing with the Stars (a rip-off from the Brit/Aussie show) and it's down to the final three - Norm Hewitt (former All Black), Shane Cortese (actor) and Tim Shaldbolt (Mayor of Invercargill).

How the fuck Tim Shadbolt made it this far is beyond me. No, actually it's not. I blame all those in Southland for continuing to vote for this smiling smarmy git. Ugh. He's so crap at dancing, no timing, no rhythm. And even though the money they raise goes to charity, this is still a competition and since when does the most useless, unco fuckwit win?

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[Picture: Barry Harcourt, Southland Times]

Mick Jagger had it right when he said that Invercargill was the "arsehole of New Zealand". If the city is the arsehole, then Tim Shadbolt is most definitely the twat.

Tart at 1:32 PM | 0 comments
Saturday, June 11, 2005
I feel like that character Jesse from the Fast Show who appears from his barn door to announce "This week I will mostly be eating asparagus" or "This week I will mostly be wearing Issey Miyake".

This month I will mostly be reading...

Houston, We Have A Problem - Erin McCarthy
(Contemp Romance)

Stolen - Kelley Armstrong
(Paranormal)

The Favours and Fortunes of Katie Castle - Rebecca Campbell
(Chick Lit)

He Loves Lucy - Susan Donovan
(Contemp Romance)

The Girl Most Likely - Rebecca Sparrow
(Chick Lit)

The Last Year of Being Single - Sarah Tucker
(Chick Lit)

All Through The Night - Connie Brockway
(Historical Romance)

Tart at 11:20 AM | 0 comments
Friday, June 10, 2005
Because I am lazy and because this is my blog and I can...

Favourites

Double Coat Tim Tams
Johnny Depp
Cuisine magazine
Whittakers Almond Gold chocolate bar
Sex with M**
Feijoa vodka
Seth from The O.C
Vanilla scented candles
Rove
The names Ella Blue and Constance Grace
TradeMe
Cheese
Savage feat. Akon "Moonshine"
Romance novels
Chanel Coco Madmoiselle perfume

**Because I have no imagination, I will refer to my boyfriend as M, the initial of his first name.




Tart at 5:51 PM | 0 comments
I have dreams, repititve dreams, that I am her best friend...

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Tart at 5:09 PM | 0 comments