Never too old to learnWhile there, I learned these new things:
When wearing knickerbockers (well, really knee length shorts) and fishnet tights, people will stare at you and think you look like a hooker.
Wearing cowboy boots will get you funny looks. In fact, wearing shoes at all will get you funny looks.
People will mistake you for your sister, and ask you how your kids are. At first, you will think it's funny, but then later, you realise that people think you look like you have three kids! A diet and exercise regime is instigated immediately.
When you see an old high school friend in The Warehouse (equivalent of Walmart) and she asks “so, are you married, do you have kids?” and you answer “oh my god, no!” she will probably look at you funny, and walk away thinking you are a lesbian, just as she suspected at high school because you were on the hockey team.
When you are stopped in the street by a reporter from the local paper, asking if you'd like to answer a question (sort of vox pops) about what you think of political parties using celebrities in their election campaigning, your answer will impress the reporter so much that she will say to you "wow, that's the most intelligent answer I've heard in ages". If only she'd warn you that your ever so funny and snarky comment won't translate into print so well, and you will come across as a bitch.
When you bump into an old boyfriend at the pub, you will thank your lucky stars that you escaped after high school and didn't end up with a guy who wears Red Band gumboots
to the pub.
You will have to drive more than 20kms to find a decent coffee.
Tart at 1:18 PM |