Backhanded compliments
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Sometimes I wonder why I am friends with a particular friend of mine.

We've known each other for years, since university. She's bright, successful, ambitious, attractive (so nothing like me then LOL). And she's also a master of the backhanded compliment.

For example, today when I met her for lunch, she commented on my weight loss (over 10kgs so far). While most friends have been really supportive and positive, she said "10kgs? That's good.... though you obviously have quite a bit more to lose". Grrrr.

And I never forget the time she commented on my new haircut which "makes your face look so slim!" LOL.

I might just be a tad busy the next time she calls and wants to go to lunch.

Tart at 9:08 PM |

4 Comments:
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At 7:55 AM, Blogger Sanna said........
Tart, some years ago I started to sort friends like this out. IMO, true friends are supportive, know what to say and although a good friend can always tell me the truth, it depends on how it is said.

I don't like talk like that. A "friend" of mine always makes comments about baby boy and I tried to be nice for sooooo long, but when she said his new wooly hat made him look like a pig, the friendship ended.

You should be REALLY busy when she calls.

Love, Sanna

P.S. 10 kgs is A LOT! Well done, Tart!
 


At 3:27 PM, Blogger Unknown said........
Even though you say this friend is bright, successful, ambitious and attractive she clearly has insecurity issues. No one says such a backhanded thing when they feel good about themselves. Those who are most critical of others are really the most unhappy with themselves, they just hide it well.
I imagine she is jealous of the fun, intelligent, beautiful, confident woman you are (not to mention your lie in lovah) and on top of that you are losing weight and it eats at her.
Just ignore her and def. don't answer the phone next time she calls!
 


At 7:07 AM, Blogger Girlie said........
Tart, that so-called friend of yours...she's not.

I'm with Sanna and Vixen here...she's insecure. She's just jealous of your fun-loving confident and articulate self.

Any picture I saw of you...you're fantastic!
 


At 1:59 PM, Blogger Tart said........
Thanks guys, I think you're right, deep down she's really insecure!

While I really like my friends to be supportive, I don't expect them to be cheerleaders either (god, how annoying would that be). But I can't really think of a time when this friend was ever supportive and fun. Wonder what drew me to her in the first place?