Poptart

It seems they've taken it upon themselves to find a man for me. And rather gleefully. Email after email with names, personal info and assessments LOL. 

While it is amusing, I don't actually want a guy. (Okay, that's not strictly true... the guy I want is not an option, he's married. And the only reason I would want one is for a shag now and again LOL). And unfortunately, the type of guy I would be interested doesn't seem to be in the emails my friends are sending.  

I mean, is this too hard to ask for?

Or this?

I never said I was easy to please LOL.

Today's cover all the things that piss me off and all things that don't. Let's start with the things that piss me off, so we finish on a high note.

Parents who take their screaming obnoxious children out to nice cafes. I don't begrudge them wanting to get out, but please make sure the kids behave themselves. Today I witnessed the WORST behaviour from a pair of precocious obnoxious little people (Tallulah and Hugo, the little shits and don't get me started on their pretentious names, ugh), who ran riot around the cafe, got in the way of the waiting staff, yelled and screamed. Really irritating for the rest of the cafe patrons. The parents were oblivious, smiling away, like this was acceptable behaviour! Now, it wasn't me being all bitchy and nasty against kids. There were two other families in the cafe at the time and those kids were really great. It really spoiled it for everyone and I left with a twitchy eye from all the noise and chaos LOL.

You know those small, delicate, lady-like sneezes some people do? Yeah. Well. I'm not one of those people. You can hear my sneezes from space. So loud. I can't stop them either, or try and not make a noise (also afraid if I do try and stop them the pressure would be so great the sneeze would somehow make my brain explode). Today I sneezed as I was leaving the dairy across the road and scared a small dog that a guy was walking. Talk about embarrassing.

I love the website The Sartorialist and came across this photo. 

I want her shoes. Desperately want them. Even if they'd make me look extra stumpy. I can only dream that if I owned them I'd suddenly be 7 inches taller and 3 dress sizes smaller and as stunning as this woman. 

It'll be the first time I've been out for weeks, if not months. I'm hoping this will be the start of a social life, I desperately need a fun night of drinking, flirting and dancing. Which reminds me, I must shave my legs LOL.