Poptart

Musings by a pop culture tart

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

The BF had a meeting with the bank today, so was dressed in an incredibly sharp shirt, suit jacket and trousers this morning.

Phwaor! I hardly ever see him in "formal" clothes (he's a jeans/t-shirt kind of guy, actually at the moment he's a shorts/t-shirt guy as he's spending ridiculous amount of time at the beach - must be so nice to be able to "work from home" LOL), he looked so smart, so put together that I had this urge to unbutton the shirt and rumple him up a bit LOL. (He left before I had the chance!)

I'm thinking I should make it mandatory that once a week he has to wear a suit, or at least a shirt with buttons! LOL. Yeah, that way I'd feel like I was unwrapping a nice package (LOL, pun intended).

*Fans of British comedy show, The Fast Show will remember this line from Ken and Kenneth - sex-obsessed tailors LOL. I loved that show!

Tart at 4:55 PM | 2 comments

I found him!

Monday, January 29, 2007

Awhile back I was lamenting over the departure of the gorgeous barista from my favourite Italian cafe (where I go every morning to buy my coffee). He'd up and gone one morning, never to be seen again. I was quite sad for a few days actually (I mean, he did make the best trim flat white).

Well today I had lunch with the BF at a cafe that I don't tend to frequent (because it's often wanky and snobby... and they don't do trim milk in their coffees LOL), and who did I spot behind the coffee machine?

The beautiful boy with brown eyes *sigh*.

Totally made my day. Spent more time checking out the barista than I did the boyfriend LOL.

Tart at 1:56 PM | 3 comments

Not sure my mother would be so proud...

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

A friend sent this through to me today...

Add together the costs of each thing that you've done. How bad were you?

Smoked pot - $10
Did acid - $5
Ever had sex at church - $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you - $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace - $25
Had sex for money - $100
Vandalized something - $20
Had sex on your parents' bed - $10
Beat up someone - $20
Been jumped - $10
Crossed dressed - $10
Given money to stripper - $25
Been in love with a stripper - $20
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know - $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work - $15
Ever drive drunk - $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk - $50
Used toys while having sex - $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before - $20
Went skinny dipping - $5
Had sex in a pool - $20
Kissed someone of the same sex - $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex - $20
Cheated on your significant other - $10
Masturbated - $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend - $20
Done oral - $5
Got oral - $5
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving - $25
Stole something - $10
Had sex with someone in jail - $25
Made a nasty home video - $15
Had a threesome - $50
Had sex in the wild - $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex - $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars - $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older - $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 - $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time - $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it - $25
Went streaking - $5
Went streaking in broad daylight - $15
Been arrested - $5
Spent time in jail - $15
Peed in the pool - $0.50
Played spin the bottle - $5
Done something you regret - $20
Had sex with your best friend - $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work - $25
Had anal sex - $80
Lied to your mate - $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good - $25

My grand total: $560.60

Great. Now everyone knows I've peed in the pool and kissed someone who's name I didn't know!

Plus adding this up, I feel like some sort of sexual deviant! My friend who passed this onto me said she got $380! I am not going to tell her my score now!

Tart at 9:25 PM | 8 comments

I think I topped my record

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

A while back, I mentioned how popping out for a coffee, ended up costing me $185. Well today I think I broke my own record.

Today is the first day of the Kirks (Kirkcaldie & Stains) sale, and on my way back from lunch and clinic appointment (side note, weightloss is going great guns have lost over 16kgs now!) I popped into Kirks just to see what they had on the shelves. Usually, Kirks sale annoys me as they pull out rubbishy junk, stock you’ve never seen on the shelves and it's usually really ugly stuff (orange lipstick from 1985 or hideous Majolica plates etc).

Imagine my surprise when I see my favourite perfume (Marc Jacobs) in a set with body lotion on sale for $89! (The perfume alone is nearly $200). I immediately snapped that up. Next the Clarins counter, where I see this cute gift set (body toning stuff) for only $30 (RRP over $100), I grabbed that.

I walked down to the bags and jewellrey area, but nothing really grabbed my attention (that is a crying shame) but I spotted this really good Samsonite suitcase, down from $399 to $155! Bargain. I ummed and ahhed over it, but in the end I got it because a) I need a new one and b) it was red.

Deciding that I’d already spent enough, I made considerable effort avoiding the shoe area (I might go back there though), I headed to the stationary area and found a very nice 2007 Diary for $12 and a set of magnetic poetry for $14 (gift for friend).

Then because my arms were getting sore lugging this stuff around, I headed to the counter and paid for my purchases

Let’s do a wee sub total of purchases thus far:

Perfume - $89
Clarins gift set - $30
Samsonite suitcase - $155
Diary - $12
Magnetic poetry - $14

That’s $300. Oops.

So, my purchases are paid for and I’m walking out the door (sans suitcase, as the very sweet chap said I could pick it up after work) and past the menswear department, I spot a few racks of some very nice casual shirts. Thinking the BF could do with a few more (and maybe, just maybe I can finally throw away this fugly shirt he insists on keeping - holes, grease stains, paint splatters and all). They were $75 a pop and I got two. (That Lacoste is very costy LOL).

So absolute amount spent in less than an hour - $450. Ouch.

I'm back at the office now, trying desperately not to think about $450 on the credit card. I think I need a financial intervention. Is there some kind of rehab for people like me?

Tart at 3:33 PM | 2 comments

Oh Roo!

Friday, January 19, 2007

I've been a fan of Rupert Everett since I saw him in Another Country. I think he's bloody gorgeous (far more handsome than thin-lipped Colin Firth or Hugh Grant), is under-rated as an actor, and because he's gay, doesn't seem to get the parts that he deserves.

I’ve been reading his autobiography “Red Carpets and other Banana skins”. Everett is a British actor (My Best Friends Wedding, The Importance of Being Earnest, the voice of Prince Charming in Shrek) and model (YSL Opium) and this is his story from his childhood in Essex to life in Hollywood.

The book is funny, outrageous and well written. Roo (Rupert's nickname) is sharp, witty and very clever. The story about his (finally) successful sexual conquest of Ian McKellen is hilarious. Stories about Madonna, Sharon Stone and Julia Roberts are acerbic and wry.

Two of my favourite quotes so far are:

On meeting Madonna for the first time...

“She was tiny and luscious with long auburn hair, slightly curled. She sat down. Sean’s forget-me-not eyes watered with adoration. Hers were the palest blue, strangely wide-set, any further and she would look insane, or inbred…” LOL.

The other one is where he is quoting someone else you made the comment that British actor Edward Woodward’s name sounded like a “fart in a bath”. LOL.

Tart at 10:49 AM | 2 comments

A kiss on the hand, may be quite continental...

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

We have this funny little thing we do in our family. Especially with my nieces and nephew.

All started when I came back from overseas after 7 years away. The kids were little and loved getting kisses, so I used to muck around with them, be silly and show them all the different types of kisses.

So, there's the Portugal Kiss (one kiss on each cheek), the Russian Kiss (three exuberant over the top kisses on the cheek), the Maori Kiss (hongi - which is where you press noses) Air Kiss, the England Kiss (a kiss on the hand), Dutch Kiss (kiss on the forehead), the Liverpool Kiss (a headbutt LOL - just kidding).

It's become a bit of a family tradition know, when the girls come and give me a kiss or a hug, they'll go "Portugal Kiss" and it starts.

It's very cute. (It is, trust me LOL).

Anyway, over Christmas and New Year when I was on holiday and spent some time with the girls, we did the usual kiss game "Portugal Kiss! England Kiss! Air Kiss! Maori Kiss! Russian Kiss! Dutch Kiss!". My 6 year old niece is giggling and then she grabs my cheeks in her little hands, looks me straight in the eye and goes "French Kiss!"

LOL. I burst out laughing and said I couldn't do a French Kiss. She looked rather perplexed, wanted to know why I wouldn't give her a French Kiss. Her older sister got the joke though, so we were giggling away.

Miss 6 though, is a real doll. Very funny and very cute. She's my little buddy actually. I adore both my nieces, but I have a better relationship with Miss 6 (Miss 10 and I are too alike to get along for long periods... not sure what it says about me that I can't play nice with a kid 22 years my junior LOL).

On New Years Day we (BF and I) were driving to the beach with Miss 6 in the back seat. We decided to play "I Spy", to make the trip a bit more fun.

So, of course, Miss 6 goes first. "I Spy, with my little eye, something beginning with H".

H?

Ok. House? No. Hill? No. Horse? No.

Hmm, H? We could not for the life of us figure out what it was so we asked for a clue.

"It's inside the car".

Ok... we looked around.

Handbag? No. Handbrake? No.

By this stage she's laughing and giggling "I'm looking right at it!", we still can't see what she's looking at.

"Alright then, we give up! What is it?"

Her little brown arm shoots between the front seats and points "Hair Conditioner!"

She's pointing to the air conditioner.

Well, we pissed ourselves laughing. So funny. I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes.

Someone needs to teach the girl to spell (she's just like her mother - similar thing happened years ago when she was about 6, played I Spy with W and we couldn't guess it. Turned out to be Railway Tracks. W came into it as she has a slight lisp and couldn't say her Rs and they came out as Ws LOL).

Tart at 3:18 PM | 1 comments

Winners and Losers

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Instead of doing work this afternoon, I find myself checking out several websites for the latest news on the Golden Globes ceremony.

I like award ceremonies, mainly for the fashion on the red carpet, as I then act like Joan Rivers and have my own running commentary on some of the dresses (let's be honest, no one cares what the blokes wear anyway).

I also like to give out my very own fashion awards (because I can and I am tragic and have no life).

The winner of the "I won this belt in a WWE smackdown with Chyna" category is:

Hayden Panettiere

The winner of the "In case I don't win a lovely gold statue, I wore this dress so at least I can look like one!" category is:

Beyonce

The winner of the "Oops, I lost my shoulder strap in the fight with a doily for the ruffles" category is:

Cameron Diaz

The winners of the "We are far too serious and cool to even smile" category are:

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

The winner of the "No, my boobs really are meant to be near my navel" category is:

Mary Lynn Rajskub

The winner of the "I got dressed in the dark" category is:

Jennifer Love Hewitt

The winner of the "Best Heidi Hair" category is:

Sienna Miller

The winner of the "Best use of the colour Dijon Mustard" category is:

Julia Louis Dreyfus

The winner of the "You want me to what? Smile? I'll try... I'm trying! It's so hard, I haven't done a real smile since 1997" category is:

J.Lo

The winner of the "My kids went nuts with a roll of tinfoil and the bedazzler" category is:

Svetlana Metkina

The winner of the "Best Dress of the Night, Pity about the snooty smile" category is:

Toni Collette

The winner of the "Malibu Barbie Gets Married" category is:

Nicolette Sheridan

The winner of the "Give me some castanets and a red rose and I'm all ready to tango" category is:

Penelope Cruz

The winner of the "Best Tanned Cleavage" category is:

Ali Larter

The winner of the "Must Check Behind You Before Posing" category is:

Salma Hayek

Overall, I didn't think there were many duds (okay, Beyonce and Jennifer Love Hewitt were pretty fugly).

I think Toni Collette and Renee Zellweger looked great.

So too did Felicity Huffman, although the dress did emphasise her broad shoulders a bit too much.

Now I shall go and actually read about who won!

Sources for photos: E Online, Stuff, Xtra

Tart at 4:19 PM | 3 comments

A great incentive

Friday, January 12, 2007

I may have myopic eyes, but I can still see a fine behind from 200 metres away.

I jogged home from work the other night, along the bays and 200 metres in front of me was a bloke in shorts with the best butt I've seen for ages.

In order to get a better look at it, I sped up several times. What a great incentive to work out harder - perving! It's bloody brilliant.

In other random news today, David Beckham has announced he will leave Real Madrid at the end of this season, and has signed with an LA team, for five years, in a deal that's worth US$1 million a week. That's right. $1 million. A week. Wow. That's a few pingas! Guess that means Posh won't be divorcing him anytime soon then.

Oh, saw a great film last night - Babel. Solid acting from Brad Pitt (which was a surprise as I find him a bit hit and miss) and storylines that eventually interweave. My only quibble was that just as the "action" was getting interesting in one storyline, it would cut to another which was a bit frustrating. Next on the movie list is The Queen with Helen Mirren. I'm a huge Helen Mirren fangirl LOL.

Tart at 2:41 PM | 3 comments

Best Films of 2006

Monday, January 08, 2007

It's about this time of year where critics (paid and armchair alike) put together their "Best of" lists for 2006. So, I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon and produce my very own list.

It was quite difficult to cull the list down, but I managed it. Criteria for judging is that these films must be ones that I saw in 2006 (which means I am leaving out a few great films that were released in the US in Nov/Dec and have yet to be screened here).

Best Films of 2006 (in no particular order)

Thank You For Smoking
Little Miss Sunshine
United 93
Cache (Hidden)
Brokeback Mountain
Casino Royale
The Beat That My Heart Skipped
Kenny
Walk the Line
Kinky Boots

Honourable Mentions

The Departed (though I though Jack Nicholson overacted in this one)
Tsotsi
Mrs Palfrey at the Claremont
Borat
Good Night & Good Luck
Brick

Looking ahead, there are several films that I'd quite like to see as they've garnered quite a bit of positive press, hopefully they'll screen here soon.

The Queen
Children of Men
Babel
Volver
Flags of our Fathers
Dreamgirls

Tart at 3:16 PM | 0 comments

I go away for two weeks

And my favourite cafe disappears!

What the hell?

I bowled up to my favourite cafe this morning to get my coffee only to find it's been completely redecorated, renamed and with new staff.

No cute barista boy! This sucks.

Would it be considered bunny boiler-ish if I asked where cute barista boy is now working?

Yeah, I thought so LOL.

Tart at 2:47 PM | 0 comments

It's over already?

Sunday, January 07, 2007

My two week holiday just flew by and I can't believe I have to go back to work tomorrow.

Bummer.

Still, at least I got a tan (okay, it's pink skin that's peeling but at least its a colour! LOL).

The end of 2006 wasn't a particularly great time. I was involved in a car accident on Christmas night. I was driving my uncles car when another car failed to give way at a roundabout and hit us. It wasn't a serious crash, but enough of one for me to sustain bruised ribs, neck and shoulders. The damage to the car was quite bad, and to make it worse, this was my uncles brand new, less than two week old, car. Bugger. Still, it could've been a lot worse.

New Year was fun, great to spend time with the BF who had spent Christmas with his family. Our proposed road trip around the coast didn't happen, as we wanted to spend time with friends and family (and the fact that neither one of us had thought to book accommodation at any of the places we wanted to visit LOL).

Though staying with my grandmother kind of put the kaibosh on any wild and sexy New Year celebrations (single beds + nana in the next room = no sex for 5 days LOL).

Anyway, I'm determined that 2007 is going to be a great year. I don't make New Year resolutions, but this year I am positive that I'll lose more weight, get fit, travel to Europe and watch some quality TV (it's quite sad that I am really excited that Heroes and Ugly Betty are about to start screening here and the new series of Prison Break and The Amazing Race are returning LOL).

Tart at 6:37 PM | 1 comments