Sunday, April 30, 2006
I've upgraded my weapons.

I've gone for poison. Two kinds. Double whammy.



I couldn't deal with a trap (ugh) so I hope these revolting animals take the bait and die a slow and agonising death. Oh, and all their other furry buddies I know are about too.


Tart at 6:41 PM | 5 comments
Saturday, April 29, 2006
As I was lying on my couch this afternoon, nursing my hangover*, out of the corner of my eye I spotted a small brown mouse, scrurrying along the hallway.

Euww!

I absolutely fucking hate mice. They make me feel all funny inside.

As soon as I saw the mouse, I was petrified and frozen to the couch. Seriously. I couldn't move. Luckily I had the portable phone handy and I called my good friend Em and got her to calm me down and she even managed to talk me from my foetal position on the couch to try and get the mouse out of the flat.

I armed myself with, what can only be described as rather creative weapons of mouse destruction.

A "Glade" swifer broom.

A brick.

A red stool.




Yeah.

I bet that fucking mouse is shit scared now!

*Boogie Wonderland rocked! Danced and drank the night away, crawled home at around 4am, after noshing down Lemon Chicken with two trannies. Ah good times.


Tart at 4:51 PM | 1 comments
Friday, April 28, 2006
Hurrah!

It's Friday and I'm taking me and my new haircut for a night out at Boogie Wonderland, where I will get rat-arsed drunk and dance like I'm a
Solid Gold Dancer.

Good fun.

Tart at 4:45 PM | 2 comments
Thursday, April 27, 2006
The 2006 FIFA World Cup is just around the corner (starts June 9 I think?).

Working out which team/s to support for this world cup is something I don’t take lightly. In fact, I use a very complex mathematical equation...


So far Portugal and Italy are the front runners.

And I shall also be looking forward to seeing these guys as well.


Tart at 12:48 PM | 7 comments
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
This morning I woke up and noticed I had a hickey.

A hickey. On my neck.

Oh my god. I've gone from 31 to 13 overnight! Shit.

To make matters worse, I had a gaggle of girlfriends coming around today for lunch. I knew with their beady eyes they'd spot it immediately, so I did the best I could with concealer and then threw on this very cool long skinny stripped scarf, hoping that would cover it. Seemed to do the trick.

But I am so gonna get the BF back for this.

Tart at 10:34 PM | 2 comments
Monday, April 24, 2006
I'm in a bit of a mood today.

Every man and his dog has taken today off, seeing as tomorrow is a public holiday -
Anzac Day, those clever people have an extra long weekend. I'm in the office. Mainly because it never occured to me to take the day off. Duh. Luckily the big boss is overseas at the moment, and the other boss is away, so I think I'll leave early. Ohh, if I leave at 4.30pm, I'll be able to watch Home & Away.

I'm also feeling moody because the BF is on holiday at the moment too. He's got this week and next week off. I wonder if I promise to do something kinky in the bedroom, he'd go around to my flat and finish the gardens? I loathe gardening. Absolutely detest it. I'd rather scrub 300 public toilets than weed the garden I hate it that much.

Tart at 2:06 PM | 1 comments
Friday, April 21, 2006
Yesterday I mentioned that when I was a kid I was chubby. And dorky.

Well, I tried to find some pictures of me as a kid. I could only find pictures taken when I was at primary school, and only class pictures. So I've had to blur the faces of all the other kids.

Chubby, cute and wearing corduroy! I present. Me! (Click on the pictures for a larger version).


Age 5. New Entrants class. I'm obviously shy - notice I'm not looking at the camera. Also notice the cute little blue corduroy dress and skivvy and, matching hair ribbons! Oh. Too cute. The BF also noticed that I still hold my hands like that now.



Age 5/6 - Second year of school. The Brown corduroy dress and skivvy combination pops up again...I'm sensing a pattern here.

Couldn't find any more (well, I could but I am so NOT posting them).

Ann - now who's the chubbiest, huh?


Tart at 10:37 AM | 7 comments
Thursday, April 20, 2006
I'm not sure why (probably excessive alcohol consumption since I was 15, but whatever...) but I cannot remember much from my childhood. Or even last month.

My aunt has sent down some old home movies (that were filmed by my great-grandfather, silent films too, and my aunt had them copied onto video a few years ago) so I could be humiliated watch them.


I went around to the BFs flat last night to watch a few. They show me, a chubby 5 year old kid (who seemed to wear a lot of brown, what is up with the colour brown in the 70s?) doing lots of embarrasing things like tripping up, falling down, pulling faces, doing gymnastics (this had the BF in hysterics - bastard). There's me, the dorky 11 year old playing with my 5 year old cousin at his birthday party (did I not have any friends back then?).

There are movies of family holidays, birthday parties and get togethers. There are my parents, so youthful! My grandad, with both legs! (He had his right leg amputated when I was about 8 or 9, due to him smoking and getting an infection - let that be a lesson to you smokers out there! LOL). My sister, looking like a little heathen!

The really sad thing is that I cannot remember any of it. None. It's like watching a complete stranger.

You know they say just before you die, your life flashes before you. I guess I'm just going to get a bunch of blank screens.

Tart at 12:41 AM | 1 comments
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Last night I went to see The Rolling Stones in concert.

The last time they were here performing was in 1966. I wasn't even born then LOL.

It was weird though to see men older than my father strutting around on stage. They did however, put on a bloody good show.

The audience was a good cross section of people, young and old, rockers and hipsters. It was fun to watch everyone up and dancing to Jumping Jack Flash or Start Me Up LOL.

This week the city is also playing host to the NZ University Games. So lots of groups of very nice young men in town. I have suddenly been needing to get out of the office at every opportunity.

Tart at 10:12 AM | 0 comments
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
5 Things I didn't do in Rarotonga

1. Read 4 books.

2. Get a lot of sleep. I never sleep well when the BF's in the bed (I often kick him out after we've had sex LOL). But in 28 degree weather as well, it's like lying next to a furnace.

3. Drink wine or vodka or beer.

4. Get annoyed with the BF.

5. Get a suntan. The weather wasn't the most condusive for tanning - warm and humid with storms (lightening and thunder on our last night).

5 Things I did do in Rarotonga

1. Read 1 book and 2 magazines.

2. Hired a scooter and drove around the island for a day, on my own.

3. The boyfriend.

4. Drank 43 litres of water whilst trying to snorkel.

5. Entertained the BF when I got stuck in a hammock and couldn't get out (stupid bloody thing).

The next holiday I go on will be far away from sand, water and anything resembling a recreational activity. I think a nice city holiday - architecture, galleries, restaurants, bars and shopping. Or maybe to Vietnam. Or Bhutan. Either way, I don't want another beach holiday. I'm beached out.

Tart at 9:22 PM | 3 comments
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
In about 24 hours I will be on my way to Rarotonga. Yay.

It's only for 4 days, but I'm looking forward to getting away from this place.

I'm all packed and ready to go. As per usual, I've packed more books than undies. I plan on doing nothing more strenuous than lounging around reading. The BF will be with me, which if I'm honest, isn't the ideal situation. He is one of those people who can't really relax by doing nothing. He always has to do something, go diving, go fishing, go surfing, for a walk etc. Usually I start to feel bad that I've sat on my fat arse for days and end up going for a walk or swimming or surfing with him. This time though, I'm staying put. The only exercise I plan on doing is turning the pages of a book.

Tart at 11:00 AM | 3 comments
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
I have a love/hate relationship with my tits.

The main reason I love them is that they are big.

The main reason I hate them is that they are big.

It can be limiting as to what kind of tops I can wear. At the moment, I'm loving some of the military style jackets and shirt dresses, but with these boobs it's just not a flattering look. And bras for big titted girls are so ugly. Hey, just 'cos I got big boobs doesn't mean I want a fugly bra that look like a parachute! The best thing when I lived in London was being able to find gorgeous lingerie in my size. Here in this country, finding a decent bra in my size is akin to the search for the Holy Grail.

Now, all you members of the 'itty bitty titty committee' are probably thinking "oh, I'd love to have bigger boobs". Trust me. It's much easier to get a great padded bra and fake it, than have these puppies on your chest.

But having said that, there are days that I love having big boobs. I like that I have a fab cleavage. I love that wrap and deep v-neck tops make me look great. I like it when I wear a great bra and turn the BF into a drooling idiot just by jiggling the tata's LOL. I like that they make me feel sexy and curvaceous.

I do wish they were a tad perkier though.

Tart at 11:51 AM | 6 comments
Here's a quirky and funny ad from New Zealand. Makes me laugh.


Tart at 11:24 AM | 1 comments
Monday, April 10, 2006
I've just read the third and final installment of a popular historical romance trilogy set in Medieval England.

The books are very well written with interesting characters, political intrigue, action and of course, some good sex scenes. All three books have followed the story of lovers Anne and Edward, and I was anxiously awaiting the final book to read the conclusion of their story.

But, 20 pages from the end of the book, the heroine marries another man! Completely out of the blue, she walks away from the hero and marries another character, a minor character on the fringes of the story. I was bloody incensed. How dare the author string me along for three books and over a thousand pages for the main characters not to end up together. I feel so ripped off. I had an emotional attachment to Anne and Edward and I honestly thought they'd live happily ever after with their son. Argh! These books are going straight onto Trade Me now LOL.

Tart at 11:08 AM | 3 comments
Sunday, April 09, 2006
The BF and I had a fight in public yesterday. So not like me to argue in public place, I tend to avoid any confrontation. But he was being a first class wanker and I'd had enough of his snide comments, his bitching and moaning about me while we were shopping that when we stopped to get a coffee, I completely lost it. Told him that I wasn't putting up with this fucking shit anymore and he should just shut the fuck up. Then, I got up and walked out of the cafe and went home. Fuck, men are such dickheads sometimes!

Tart at 1:33 PM | 3 comments
Friday, April 07, 2006
Today's Outfit
  • Lee "One True Fit" jeans in dark vintage wash

  • "Light Layer" hooded long sleeve knit by Huffer in grey

  • "Wanna Down Vest" by Huffer in black

  • Black, grey and pink Puma trainers

  • Black and grey messenger bag

  • Ben Sherman chunky mens watch with black leather strap

  • Silver and black onyx ring

  • Silver hoops
Today's Makeup
  • MAC Hyper Real SPF 15 foundation

  • Boots No. 7 eye pencil in Black

  • Clinique Naturally Glossy Mascara in Jet

  • Lancome Juicy Tubes in Fraise

Today's Perfume
  • Calvin Klein "Truth"

Today's Coffee
  • Coffee Supreme - mocha

Today's Emails
  • 18; 3 work, 15 personal

Today's Song Can't Get Out of My Head
  • Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall

Today's Obsession
  • The state of my eyebrows! Can't wait for threading appointment this afternoon...talk about monobrow!

Tart at 10:43 AM | 0 comments
Thursday, April 06, 2006
The BF and I and some friends are about to sign up for the 48 Hours film project. This is where you write, shoot and edit a film in, funnily enough, 48 hours. The team is given a genre (like romance, sci-fi, blaxploitation, mockumentary, coming of age etc) as well as random elements, announced at the start of the competition that must be incorporated into the film. These can be things such as a character, an action, a line of dialogue or a prop. They are short films, between 3 and 7 minutes.

The project doesn't start shooting until 26 May, but there are already creative differences between the BF and I.

We both want to decide the team name.

We both want to direct.

We both want different lead actors.

And they say working with children and animals is to be avoided. I'd like to add boyfriends.

Tart at 10:59 AM | 0 comments
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Yesterday I received a cheque from my electricity company.

Since I moved into my flat over a year ago, they've only ever done estimates on my power usage, not actual meter readings. Well, about 2 weeks ago, a meter reader from the company turned up at the flat and finally took a reading. Turns out they've been over-estimating my use of power and my account is in credit. By $445.05!

Woo-hoo!

So, I banked the cheque today. And instead of my usual modus operandi of going out immediately and spending the money, I've decided to put it towards my credit card.

Shit. This is so unlike me! If I have money I have to spend it LOL.

Maybe I'm finally becoming fiscally mature?

Tart at 4:05 PM | 0 comments
Monday, April 03, 2006
I am by nature, an organised person who likes routine. My week often has a sameness about it that would probably drive some people crazy, but I like it. Keeps me sane.

But this routineness (is that even a word?) doesn't mean I am not spontaneous, because I can be...I just have to organise it beforehand LOL.

For example:

The BF and I have a standing breakfast date every Wednesday morning at our favourite cafe (and yes, I usually have the same thing to eat each week - though I like to mix it up when it comes to my coffee LOL).

I meet up with four girlfriends every Wednesday night for cheap cocktails at a popular bar in the city. (Though I've given up drinking for a while, due to kidney problems, so I'm having to drink non-alcoholic cocktails, which totally goes against all my beliefs LOL).

Every Sunday at 10am I meet with three of my closest girlfriends for brunch at Eva Dixon's.

I stay at my BF's flat only one night a week - usually Friday night. (His flat's closer to the city, so it's in walking distance or cheap cab ride home after a night out LOL).

I cook dinner at the same time each night - 6.45pm (after the sports news on TV3).

Thursday night is grocery shopping night.

I buy the exact same groceries each week. I have memorised the items so that I no longer need to write a list. I have also memorised the layout of my local supermarket, so I know exactly where all the things I need are (does anyone else get miffed with supermarkets when they change their layout...or is that just me? LOL).

I wear the same silver ring on my left hand (middle finger) and have done since I was 18.

Saturday morning I clean the house, in the same order. Bathroom (basin first, then bath/shower, toilet last), then the kitchen, dust/polish furniture, vaccum, sweep and mop floors.

I always sleep on the right side of the bed.


I call my parents in the UK every Sunday night. (This first started when I moved away to university over 12 years ago).

I organise my pantry daily, so that all the labels are facing out and everything is organised alphabetically and then according to height (yes, I am a little weird).

I've been catching the same bus to work, at the same bus stop everyday for almost 3 years.

Fuck. I sound so pathetic. And boring LOL.

Tart at 2:45 PM | 0 comments
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Yesterday was Satday. Stare at Tart Day.

Honestly, I have never had so many people stare at me. Of course, it didn't help that I was in *whisper* the
Hutt and *whisper* at a mall. I am so not a mall person. So generic. So bland. So boring. But my friend wanted to go, so she dragged me along. It felt like every single person was staring at me. Fucking freaks. The Hutt is weird though. Only a 25 minute drive from the city, but you need a visa permit to visit. Strange lot. Must be the inbreding LOL.

Today I saw the funniest movie I have seen in a long, long time.
Sione's Wedding. I was laughing so hard, I had tears streaming down my face. I haven't laughed that much for such a long time. And how fucking HOT is Robbie Magasiva...mmmmm

Tart at 6:52 PM | 3 comments