Friday, June 30, 2006
Five things I'm looking forward to this weekend
  1. The first sip of wine of the day
  2. Catching up with the everyone on our girls night tonight
  3. Sleeping in
  4. England v Portugal (go Portugal!)
  5. Reading Twelve Sharp by Janet Evanovich

Tart at 2:41 PM | 0 comments
Thursday, June 29, 2006
I don't blog a lot about work. Mainly 'cos I want to keep a little anonymity. Plus you hear the stories of bloggers who blogged about their job and ended up getting fired. Seeing as I love my job and the work I do. I'm keeping quiet.

Except for today.

I've had a day that has been so mind-numbing tedious. I've been sequested in a room, with a Director, going through page by page, line by line, this new web project we're working on. What makes it worse is that this director has the Worst. Breath. Ever.

I kid you not. It reeks. You can smell it across the room. Fuck, you could smell it from Kenya!

It is awful, but I don't want to say anything to them. Even though it stinks. I don't want to embarrass the person. Instead, I'll just bitch about it to you, dear reader, and to my friends LOL.

Lately we've had 4 new staff members join our organisation. They're nice and friendly and smart. Except one has a horrid voice. It's one of those voices in which every sentence goes up at the end, so it always sounds like a question, e.g It's really cold today? I had sushi for lunch? I sent you an email? They sound like a dimbulb LOL.

Tart at 4:43 PM | 2 comments
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Knicked this from another website, which in turn took it from Glamour magazine: "10 Bad Guys Worth Dating Anyway."

"The Much Older Man, to get that creepy Dad thing out of your system."

Yep. Done this twice. First when I was 19 and had a wild passionate fling with a man who was 43 (and was 2 years older than my Dad at the time). He was gorgeous, tall and lean. Had a great smile. He was an international polo player (so you can imagine the thighs on him LOL). Lasted for the summer I was home between first and second year of university. Second time was a few years ago, a set up with a man who was 20 years older than me. Nice bloke, but when we went out for dinner, I felt like I was being paraded around, like a badge/trophy or something.

"The Too-Good-Looking-for-Me Guy, because those are your insecurities talking, and you should tell them to shut up!"
Check. Last long-term boyfriend was very very good looking (think a dark Matthew McConnaughey). He turned into a Nazi Gym Instructor, used to monitor what I ate, when I exercised etc. On the plus side I had a killer body, on the downside, he was a fucking nutbar! (Only took me 5 years to figure that out LOL).

"The Dumb Jock, because there's a lot to be said for endurance."
Not dumb jocks, but I have been out with some nice, but dim, rugby players. Not sure about the endurance thing though LOL. One guy didn't even last 30 seconds. Bless his heart. A few of them though, phwaor, good in the sack!

"The Potentially Gay Guy, for the potentially forever friendship."
Yes. We met on our first day of university (in a lecture for Politics 101), we used to bitch and backstab about everyone in our halls of residence. And we used to concoct outrageous plots to outshine a bride on her wedding day ('cos it's not all about the bride thankyouverymuch! LOL). He's still a very good and dear friend, lives in Sydney and is my personal style guru LOL.

"The Pretentious Intellectual. If nothing else, you'll have the whole who-vs-whom thing solved forever."
Ugh. Brendan. Second year of university, he was a third year law/economics student. Which translates to utter twat.

"The Euro Snob. Steal his fancy bath products!"
Well, if David Beckham ever left Posh, then I'd be up for a bit of product sharing.

"The Non-committal Guy, because he's a rite of passage that will bond you with every other woman on earth."
Hmm, well I'm the actual non-committal girl, so maybe I'm a guys rite of passage! Cool LOL.

"The Guy Who Needs To Be Saved, to teach you that you can't do that for anybody."
Nope. Haven't done that one. I'm not a life-saver.

"The Money-Hungry Bastard. You'll quickly scratch "rich" off your wish list."
Haven't been out with a really money-hungry guy, but I did go out with this guy who was very rich. He wasn't pretentious about it though, but he did like to pay for everything, which wasn't really a problem for me LOL.

"The Cute-but-Dorky Guy, because in the long run, dorky might not matter."
Well, I do have a soft spot for dorks but I haven't dated any of them (the cute factor would have to be greater than the dork factor...yes, I'm that shallow LOL).

Ah, memories.

Tart at 12:11 PM | 9 comments
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
To celebrate Italy beating Australia 1-0 (woo-hoo! I drew Italy in the office sweepstakes) in their World Cup match earlier today, I thought I'd post some pictures of a few of the Italian team members.

Fabio Cannavaro




Andrea Bargzali


Allessandro Nesta


Francesco Totti (or as I call him, Top Tottie LOL)


(Sorry blokes, maybe next time I'll try put up pictures of hot sportswomen LOL).

Tart at 9:51 AM | 6 comments
Monday, June 26, 2006
Last night I went to the supermarket. Not my usual supermarket (which is Newtown New World), but Island Bay New World. I felt like a change of scenery, and also there would be less chances of bumping into someone I knew in IB New World, whilst looking like a fat pog in ugly trackies and a hoodie.

And that of course was my big mistake.

For who did I see, across the soup aisle, but The-Guy-From-The-Bus-Who-Looks-Like-Wentworth-Miller (TGFTBWLLWM). Argh!

TGFTBWLLWM is so damn fine. Fine I tell you! Here I am, schleping along the aisle, handling a tin of Watties Soup For One (could I advertise any louder than I'm single?) trying to get a good perve at him (he had on a very cool Huffa jacket, a funky pair of trainers and extra points TGFTBWLLWW, for the nice bum in jeans!) and the contents of his trolley. I think you can tell quite a bit about a person by the contents of their trolley. I spotted Macs Gold Beer, pumpkin, carrots and tomatoes, pasta and two light bulbs. Hmmm. At least we like the same beer! I followed him around a couple more aisles, but lost him after I skipped the meat section. I then skulked around the magazine aisle, waiting to see which check out he went to, so I could stand behind him and stare some more.

It was then I realised what a nutjob I was turning into. This is not normal behaviour! I whisked the trolley up to the pimply-faced teenage checkout operator, paid for my stuff and then high-tailed it out of there.

But at least I know which supermarket he goes too. For future reference only, if I ever, you know, decide to go there again. On a Sunday. Dressed nicer. With my hair done. And make up on.

And just to remind us, of who TGFTBWLLWM looks like...



Mmm. Tasty!

Tart at 12:44 PM | 8 comments
As mentioned previously, I was lucky enough to score an ARC of Secret Society Girl by Diana Peterfreund.

Here's the blurb:

"Elite Eli University junior Amy Haskel never expected to be tapped into Rose & Grave, the country's most powerful -- and notorious -- secret society. She isn't rich, politically connected or, well, male. Between attending druidic initiation rituals, battling disgruntled alumni, and keep a certain friend-with-benefits at arm's length, pulling off that A in Russian Lit is going to prove a bit trickier than usual. And then there's the little matter of George Harrison Prescott -- a handsome fellow pledge who seems to offer everything Amy never thought she was looking for."

It is a quirky, well-paced, clever, and fresh novel from debut author Diana Peterfreund. Amy is a charming, funny and smart character. I really liked her. There are hilarious, laugh out loud moments (loved the comment about Amy's friend-with-benefits, Brandon, looking like a sidekick in a WB show LOL). I read this book, from start to finish, with a smile on my face and will definitely be picking up the second installment in the series. Highly recommended.


Tart at 11:23 AM | 0 comments
Friday, June 23, 2006
Yay. It's Friday. I've got no plans to go out tonight.

It's just gonna be me, a bottle of Gunn Estate Sauvignon Blanc and Project Runway (sucky NZ television programmers! I already know who wins this... but I'll still watch it anyway).

I've nearly finished reading Secret Society Girl by Diana Peterfreund. It is such a great read! I'll write a mini review over the weekend.

Right. I'm outtie.


Tart at 5:11 PM | 0 comments
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
I won an ARC of Secret Society Girl by Diana Peterfreund. I'm about 2/3 of the way through it and I am really liking it. It's smart, funny and very charming. Head on over to Diana's blog, which like the book, is very smart, funny and charming.

I bought a new bag today. Isn't it pretty? It has buckles. I love buckles. I've given her a name too. Her name is Lola (..she was a showgirl, with yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there...). I love the colour. And the buckles. Did I mention I love buckles? LOL













It's my friend Steve's turn to pick the movie this week, I really hope he doesn't chose something shite like The Break Up or The Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift. I'm pretty confident he won't. But now and again, he likes to mix it up and we end up seeing crappy action films or moronic romance films *coughTheNotebookcough*. I'll try and use my winsome smile and charm him into seeing Tsotsi.

This week's World Cup Hottie is... Alessandro Nesta (plays for AC Milan and Italy). He's lovely. Those lips. Those dark eyes. Sigh.






















News is circulating over the Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban wedding, happening this Sunday in Sydney. From the looks of her over-Botoxed face this morning (she's permanently surprised looking what with her eyebrows near her hairline), I'm not sure she'll be able to smile on her happy day. That's a shame LOL.

Oh, I got tickets to see Eric Clapton at the
Mission Concert next year! It's a fantastic venue, outdoors in a natural amphitheatre. I've seen Rod Stewart, Ray Charles and a few others perform at the Mission and I've always had a good time. Of course, the fact that you can bring in your booze probably helps LOL.

Tart at 3:19 PM | 2 comments
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
I just packaged up some things to courier to "Fred" for a meeting we're having on Friday.

I addressed it to him at Fornication Road! It should be Fortification Road.

I didn't spot my mistake, until the receptionist came to me and said "um, are you sure that Fred lives on Fornication Road?". Oops. LOL.

Its not rocket science to work out what my mind is thinking today!

Tart at 2:43 PM | 2 comments
Monday, June 19, 2006
It's 8.08pm Monday and I'm still hungover from Friday. Ugh.

I didn't intend on having such a big night, but four of us decided to have a few drinks, which turned into a few more, and then I got my second wind at about midnight, and didn't stop drinking until 7am, no, actually, I had a Bloody Mary for breakfast, so make that 9.30am.

We went to a bar and set ourselves up at a table that gave us a good view of the place (so we could check out the cute boys LOL). We did feel a little old in this pub though, because it seemed like every little 19 year old was out! It was easy to spot them, they all wear the same "uniform" - grey skintight jeans with either metallic flats or tucked into knee boots, teamed with a skimpy top and a belt. Boring. No imagination girls! Wouldn't hurt to pick up a Vogue now and again LOL.

They probably thought we were four old crones sitting in a booth bitching (we were) but gosh it was hilarious watching them dance. Though I did feel like I should've gone outside to see if the sign outside the bar said Skanks R Us, cos some of the girls were grinding to Sean Paul's Temperature in a very skanky way LOL.

One thing 'us' oldies have over those skinny grinding skanks? We can drink more and last longer! We ended up leaving at 7am, then tottling off to my friend Jo's for breakfast and Bloody Mary's.

I think it was the Bloody Mary that did me in. The whole of Saturday was a write-off. I stayed in bed all day and slept. Sunday I met up with friends for brunch and then came home to bed LOL.

Today I worked from home (and yes, that is a euphemism for pulling a sickie LOL). Hopefully tomorrow I'll feel better. I hope so, I'm too old for this.

Tart at 8:41 PM | 4 comments
Friday, June 16, 2006
Today at lunchtime, me and four other work colleagues went and gave blood. I haven't given blood for a long time, probably not since I was a teenager.

Now I remember why I haven't done it in such a long time.

They can't find my veins!

I'm veinless. Who knows what the hell carries my blood around my body, but it sure as shit ain't my veins LOL.

It took Alan (so sweet, so soft spoken) about 10 minutes to find a vein, he had to switch arms and finally found a vein (he had to mark it with a pen LOL). Then he put the needle in (I had to look away the entire time, as I was feeling a bit shaky). It wasn't too bad though. 15 minutes of your life which could save someone else's. The best bit though, was the tea and chocolate biscuits afterwards LOL.


No news from the Oprah Show producers. They probably took one look at my picture and said "oh, that's more of a face for radio" LOL.

Tart at 3:07 PM | 1 comments
Thursday, June 15, 2006
The Oprah Winfrey Show wants me!

This morning, I got an email from a producer at the show...

"My name is X and I work at the Oprah Winfrey Show. I received your email you wrote to us and am currently working on a show regarding women around the world!

We [...] would like to attach a recent photo to your email and pass it along to the producers. We would also like you to include information about your country and city in the email with the pictures. Include where your city/country is located and interesting information about your culture and environment. Please include how womens' lives in your country differ from women's lives in the U.S.

We will not use the pictures on air unless we contact you first - they are just for background info.

Once we get the picture it will be forwarded on. We will contact you only if we are interested in pursuing your story."


How cool is that. Granted, I probably won't get past the producers. I mean, once they see my chubby face in a picture LOL.

Needless to say, this is pretty much a no work Thursday as I work out what I'm going to write about me, New Zealand, our culture, differences between NZ women and American women. Oh and I've pestered our photographer at work to take some shots of me at lunch today (how fortuitous that today I have my hair and make up looking nice LOL).

Who knows, maybe something will come of it. If not, at least the Oprah Show team will learn a little more about New Zealand LOL.



Edited: This is for Ann, one more World Cup Hottie for you babe!

Fredrik Ljungberg - plays for Arsenal and Sweden and models Calvin Klein undies in his spare time.























Tart at 11:00 AM | 5 comments
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Last night I cleaned out one of my junk drawers and discovered a few packets of photos that I hadn't got around to putting into albums (I'm saving that for the weekend! Wow. Excitement abounds!)

All these photos I took on my various travels around the world.

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Kinkakuji (The Gold Pavillion), Kyoto, Japan
Three-storeys are covered in gold leaf. This is a stunning building and the surrounding gardens are so tranquil and peaceful. Perfect Japanese buddhist garden, on a clear day, the pavillion is reflected in the lake.


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Floating Flower Market, Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Seeing all the flowers always makes me start to hum "Tulips from Amsterdam" LOL.

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Chinese Lantern Festival, Auckland, New Zealand
Peking Opera Performer. The costume and make up was so pretty. And she's talented too - dances on stilts!

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Obidos, Portugal

My house in Portugal (it's the one with the two pots under the top floor window). It was a gorgeous house that I absolutely adored. The two gay flatmates I shared with had decorated it impeccably.

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Oeiras, Portugal
Tiled door and balconey, quite typical throughout Portugal. I came back from Portugal with kilo's of tiles. One day I'll find a use for them LOL.

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Trevi Fountain, Rome
I some how managed to get this photo, with no people in it. Not an easy task, as there are always hundreds of people standing and sitting around this iconic Roman site. Incidently, a gorgeous shoe shop is opposite the fountain and I managed to buy several pairs of shoes there.

Aw man, all this just makes me want to get on a plane and get out of here.

Tart at 12:33 PM | 4 comments
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
So it's the 4th day of the 2006 FIFA World Cup.

I've not managed to watch any of the matches live (what with the time differences and all I am not getting up at 3am to watch Angola play Togo!), but have managed to watch a few highlights on the news. Enough highlights to talk shop with the two football nuts in the office. I think I impress them with my knowledge of the game LOL. Of course, I daren't mention any of the real stuff I want to talk about (like how freaking hot is David Beckham and don't Luis Figo's* thighs look fantastic in shorts LOL).

The Football World Cup is the largest sporting event in the world. It's incredible the numbers of people that are watching the game around the world, from Brazil to Jordon, Australia to Turkey. Except you buggers in the United States LOL. Of course, it doesn't help that USA got beaten by the Czech Repbulic 3-nil, but I thought considering the magnitute of the sport, it's immense popularity around the globe and the fact that it is a world cup, more people would be watching. But according to stats, only 3 million are tuning in. I'm sure more people watch white trash car racing NASCAR.

People, you are missing out! It's the beautiful game. It has everything. Drama and cheating (just watch all the "hollywood" acting when a player gets tackled), passion and heartache (watch the Swedish fans despair after drawing nil all to Trinidad and Tobago), altheticism and skills (oh, just watch David Beckham and Thierry Henry).

My money (hypothetical money, I'm too stingy to gamble) is on Brazil and Argentina. But England and Germany are also ones to look out for too.


And just for those who might need a bit of reminder as to why I watch this sport.

I present to you, Mr David Beckham.


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*He plays for my former country of residence, Portugal.


Tart at 3:25 PM | 7 comments
Monday, June 12, 2006
I've been having a few side effects from the speed Slimfast diet pills I've been taking (please refrain from lecturing about the evilness of diet pills, it's nothing I haven't already told myself LOL). Nothing major, just lack of sleep, a few headaches and this insastible need to tidy the cupboards. So, not only will I get thin, my house will be really clean. Bonus!

I have this family get together in August and I really don't want to turn up all fat and bloaty. I think this is the heaviest I've ever been. Even my chunky phase of 1997-98 has nothing on this LOL.


Once this family shin-dig is over, I'm off the pills. I just want to be thinner than my sister who has so far lost 13kg on Body for Life. I have always been the thinner one! So I have to lose the flab quickly in order for status quo to be maintained and for the world to go back to normal.

Tart at 12:25 PM | 6 comments
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
I was watching TV last night, when the shorts for a TV series came on. It's called Honey We're Killing The Kids. An English show. Basically, from the 20-30 second snippet, the show is about how parents are killing their kids by not feeding them proper, nutricious foods and also ensuring they exercise and play. I know childhood obesity is an increasing problem here, so I would have to assume it is also a problem in England. What shocked me most about the clip I saw was that this little girl, probably no more than 7, was allowed to eat half a packet of chocolate fingers and a glass of coke for breakfast! Her parents have to be morons. Come on! Chocolate biscuits and coke and they see nothing wrong with it? Fucking unreal. When I lived in England, I worked with people who had never eaten broccoli! Seriously. I even worked with this one woman who only ever feed her kids chips, baked beans and fish fingers. No fresh fruit. Or vegetables. Nothing. Yuk. No wonder her kids looked all pasty faced and pathetic!

I had a Wentworth Miller sighting this morning! Very exciting as I haven't seen him for awhile now. I was running late and didn't get to the bus stop until 8.30am, and low and behold. Who is waiting at the bus stop, but Wentie! As I climbed aboard the bus, I had to stand (it was chokka) and Wentie was behind me, talking to someone he knew. Because I'm a stalker and a shameless eavesdropper, I found out that he is a graphic designer. Works for one of the larger design firms in the city. Oh, and when a seat became empty, he tapped me on the shoulder and said "would you like a seat?". What a doll. So of course I took the seat...and spent the rest of the trip into town day dreaming about him LOL. Quite a nice way to start the day really.

How weird is it that my mother sends me photos of my old ex-boyfriend and his wife's new baby? My ex is good friends with my parents (and yes, it really creeps me out LOL) but I really don't need to be seeing pictures of their new little baby. Though he is gorgeous (looks just like my ex LOL). It's just weird.

I encountered the s-l-o-w-e-s-t sandwich maker in town today. She was terrible! It took her 9 minutes to make my sandwich - I only asked for 3 fillings! I was getting so impatient, I nearly jumped the counter and made the thing myself. So, if you're down Featherston Street, steer clear of Zuppas.

Tart at 1:02 PM | 4 comments
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Miss Pee: "I really want you to meet a friend of mine"

Me: "Oh, I'm not really keen on meeting anyone new at the moment"

Miss Pee: "Oh, but I think you'll get on really well. She's just got back from London and is so much fun!"

Me: "She?"

Miss Pee: "Yeah?"

Me: "I'm not into girls!"

Miss Pee: "Oh, I know, but it wouldn't hurt to meet her!"


Oh, I love Miss Pee (she's a co-worker), she makes me laugh a lot. And of course, she's always up for drinks after work. So maybe if this friend of hers is really hot I might consider it LOL.

The ex-bf's party at the bar on Friday night was okay. I was squeezed into a corner, as it was very crowded. Once I'd had a few sips of wine, I went over to see him (he hadn't seen me yet) to say hello - bascially to get it over and done with LOL. He looked quite surprised I was there, I guess he thought I wouldn't show. We had a quick chat and then I went back to my corner where my friend Jo was. I'm kinda glad I didn't go over the top with what I was wearing! (It was too cold, so I made do with jeans and a funky top and jacket). He didn't take any notice! Though I noticed he was wearing a shirt and a pair of shoes that I'd bought him. Wonder if he realised? Probably not. Anyway, I didn't stay for long...maybe an hour and a half more? I did go up and say good bye though. I got a friendly hug and a kiss good bye and that was it. Over. Done. I am glad I went even if it was just to show my face.

Now I'm just going to have a bit of Tart-time. Look after myself and get healthy. I've started this new fitness regime, and part of it is doing yoga! Fuck me. I never knew how intense it was. Here I was thinking I'd go along for a 2 hour nap, but no. It's a full on workout LOL. Everyone else leaves the studio all glowy and happy. I leave looking like I've been run over, twice, by a Mack truck. Oh and note to self. Buy new tracksuit pants as mine all have holes in the crotch.


Tart at 3:30 PM | 1 comments
Friday, June 02, 2006
Tonight I'm going to the ex-boyfriends farewell drinks at a bar. I wasn't invited personally, but I was included in the group email that he sent last week.

Initially I wasn't going to go. I'm feeling a little weird about it all (I still have feelings for him, dammit LOL). But I decided (along with some gentle prodding from friends) that I'd go.

However, in order to make myself feel better and to show the ex just what he'll be missing for the rest of the year, I'm going to turn up looking fabulous! And sexy! But not like I tried too hard or anything (it's a fine line LOL). As a dear darling friend said "look HAPPY and CAREFREE. Make him wonder why you aren't bawling your eyes out. Could she be seeing another guy already? Make his last memory of you a lasting one, the one that will haunt that fucker for a long time".

Amen!

*From Right Said Fred I'm Too Sexy

Tart at 2:31 PM | 3 comments
Thursday, June 01, 2006
There are somethings I just don't understand. Or see the appeal of.

Scrapbooking is one of them. It seems really dorky.

Another thing I don't understand is the offside rule in football*. I know the offside rule in rugby, but in football it leaves me stumped.

I don't see the appeal of paranormal romances.

Or children. What's so great about kids? Sure, I love my smart and funny nieces and my gorgeous nephew, but I think kids are overrated.

I also don't get why David Beckham married Skeletal Posh Spice, when he so clearly is meant to be with me.


I don't get it why Starbucks is so popular, the coffee is revolting.

Oh and on a coffee note, I will never understand why people want to completely ruin a coffee by putting flavoured syrup, cream etc into it. Why have a coffee then if you're just going to bastardise it by having a "caramel and white chocolate mocha with cream". Gag.

I will never understand quantum physics. Or Russian.

I don't see the appeal of Ben Affleck. Or Richard Gere.

*soccer to those in the U.S.


Tart at 10:50 AM | 4 comments